Whew, it’s over!

Molly hosted our Christmas Eve white Elephant/ Ugly Holiday Apparel party. As usual she put out a great spread and the gift exchange was a hoot. Our caravan of 8 carts (that’s the beginning count) rode around the Villages wrapped in blankets last night looking at the Holiday displays and are looking forward to our New Years celebration. Beth’s brother Bob is here as well as Ron’s sister and friend. RC has his mother, Grand daughter and friend Al, all in residence this year. Wow!

The in-laws continue to improve. Dad is up and getting around in a walker. He is a bit better each day. Elaine’s whole clan is in, complete with 6 adults, 2 kids and three dogs. Dad is going out tonight for dinner at the newest of the clan to move to TV full time, Tom and Monica’s house for dinner. This is the first time since his knee surgery that he has ventured out, and I am sure he is getting a bit stir crazy. We got a very beautiful Christmas arraignment (and an Edible one for the Folks) from Gary and Carrie and Kelley. It reminds us that we miss them and hope they will be down for a visit soon.

Both of my girls being here for the holidays is a nice treat for me. They are seldom both in the same state let alone under the same roof. It has been nice to see them play WII and laugh and fight and enjoy each other’s company this year. We’ve had a lot of quiet down time together just playing cards, talking, and enjoying each other’s company. I know that may seem boring but it is a luxury that we did not often allow in our hectic lives.

We’ve survived another Christmas. This year has been a blur. I usually enjoy the holidays, but if the truth be known this cold that has settled into my chest has made me less than festive. I am going through the motions, but my heart is not quite in it. I’ll be better soon.

2010, Look out!

Merry Christmas!

Another calendar to discard! Wow this year ripped by. I am taking this opportunity to apologize for no holiday cards this year. This will be my only indulgence to communicate my happy holidays to my friends and relatives! It hasn’t been since the girls were babies that I was too busy to sit down and write out my holiday cards. Both of my daughters are here this year helping out with the grandparents, and that is one of the best parts of this ordeal. Bri is living here and is Grandmu’s caregiver, and Erika is between political assignments and helping with the overflow now that grandpa also needs full time care.

This year my time has been filled with the care and feeding of my in-laws. A quick update (as I have not found the time to blog regularly): Moms recovery from the broken arms is going well, and she has adjusted well to her new home here in TV. Her Alzheimer’s seems a bit worse and each day is a new adventure with her. She has mixed emotions about Dad being here. She misses him terribly when he is out of sight, but he annoys her when he is here. I think that is what marriage eventually comes to.

Burt, my 90 year old father-in-law reluctantly arrived here in Florida a few weeks ago. He decided to have the full knee replacement that he has been putting off for 10 years since his first knee replacement. He found a surgeon that he was comfortable with and last week he had it done. He is a healthy 90 and we are hopeful that he will be able to get around unassisted again. He told the Doctor that his mother lived past 100 and he planned to live to 105. That means the new knee needs to last for at least 15 years. What an optimist! There have been a few complications after his surgery, and it is becoming obvious that he will not be escaping back up north by the first of the year, but our goal is to have him ready to ship off by the beginning of April.

Their convalescence has complicated our formerly narcissistic lives considerably. Between doctor appointments and nurse visits, Physical therapy, trips to the drug store, cooking meals for 6, personal hygiene for both and all the other running for their needs, it has taken almost all free time from four of us. I have resolved to keep some fun in the schedule and the girls and I snuck off to see the manatees on the gulf coast yesterday. It was a nice day and I think we’ll try the Orlando theme parks next week.

I am grateful to be able to help them get as many more good years as possible. Erika commented that she was learning a lot about how to be a responsible member of a family unit. That is good news as we will be in this situation too, someday. Good Karma all around for us. I have new respect for caregivers. It is a full time commitment.

Happy Holidays and Peace in the New Year!

A quiet revolution

Boy do the months get by! I cannot believe that we have celebrated our 3rd Thanksgiving here in TV. Our table grows a little bigger each year. This year we had 18 for dinner. The generational split was interesting to me. We had 5-20 somthings, 4 over 85, and 9 of us boomers. No little ones! I don’t know exactly what this all means; I’m just making an observation. As usual we had too much food and will exist on leftovers until we cannot stand anymore. The featured drink of the day was White Russians. We missed Beth and Ron this year, but welcomed Ricky and Debbie and her family.

We adopted a cat for Burt and Carol. They miss the barn cats that he fed at the back door every morning up North. He would have a fit if he knew that Sambo cost $85. Cats were routinely dropped off at the farm, and took up the job as mouse catchers for free. He asked Bri if the cat needed to be walked twice a day. We are really surprised at how narrow his knowledge of the world is for being a resident on the planet for 90 years. Some of the things he just doesn’t seem to grasp are a result of his age, but sometimes it is due to the communication limitations that his generation has experienced.

Communication and the media are things that are viewed very differently across generations. I think that we have not yet come to grasp the seminal change, or paradigm switch, in communication that the internet has immersed us in without us noticing. I see this change as pretty exciting and scary at the same time. It still amazes me that anything that you need to know can be found on the internet if you have the will and the patience to search.

The information available on the internet in incredible and has made research, and information validation as we knew it a thing of the past. The twenty-something’s and down, know that what is reported is to be viewed with a skeptical eye. Because anyone can now publish unconfirmed information, sources can be vague or unsubstantiated, and information need not be corroborated or validated. Wikepedia is an on line encyclopedia that virtually anyone can update. The responsibility to get the truth is now up to the seeker, not the provider. That alone is monumental.

The invention of the printing press was obviously one of those moments that changed everything we knew about communication, but the invasion of the internet, and tabloid news into our homes has been a little more insidious. I am still trying to wrap my head around this, without turning into a Ted Kiminski (uni-bomber), but it scares me to realize that there are at least two generations of people out there that believe everything they read is confirmed, validated truth. The opportunity to promote propaganda and spread lies is an incredibly important outcome that has yet to be fully examined. I am watching this happen with the health care reform debate. The insurance companies are preying on the fear of seniors, and scaring them with misinformation to protect their obscene profits generated by the current system. This is only one small example.

Stay tuned as this hypothesis (manifesto?) of mine on the quiet revolution takes shape.

Big Bad Burt, or Grand-Pu has arrived

My mother-in-law Carol is glad to see Burt, her partner of 60 plus years, and his being here has relieved her worries that she did something wrong and she was being punished for it. They have a marriage from the ancient past and sometimes it is hard for us from the next generations to watch.

He is frustrated that she can’t remember which way to turn to get to their bedroom, and that she tells the same stories over and over. What we find the hardest to watch is how much he pushes for her to wait on him like a servant, and to do the household chores that she has done in the past. He says she has fun doing chores; I say have some fun yourself and get up off your butt and get your own coffee. After she almost started the coffeemaker on fire, folded and put Bri’s clothes in the wrong dresser and cried because he yelled at her for the unmade bed, we had a “talk”.

We tried to explain to him that she will never be like she was before she got Alzheimer’s, and we cannot, for safety reasons, let her use any appliances. No she will not iron your clothes because here in Florida we throw out clothing that needs to be ironed! We asked him if it would be fair for us to get mad at him for moving at a snails pace due to his bad knees, or to get frustrated when he cannot hear us because his hearing is going bad. Same concept, rounding the corner towards 100 has its obvious pitfalls, but we are all going to approach this time in their lives with compassion and patience, if it kills us!

We have asked him to gently direct her to the right bedroom, without judgment, and to allow us to manage the bulk of the household chores. He is trying, but old habits die hard. I have to remind myself that the dynamics of their relationship have emerged over nearly three quarters of a century and their interactions and the bickering are something they both contribute to, although she is no longer as able to keep up her end of the banter. I am sure that my relationship with his son was just as questionable to him throughout the years. He never understood why Wayne changed diapers, washed clothes, and got his own coffee.

Briana is a saint with them, but has to be talked of the ledge about once a day. I try to help her see a point of view that is often hard for me to see. She handles them both like a pro, and I am very proud of her.

Next chapter: He wants to go back up North after Thanks giving. Stay tuned as a 90 year old man with bad knees, tries to convince me why he has to go back and fight the snow in Western NY.

My Best Dog Friend is sick

Lady McBeth is my ten year old lab. She started failing last week and I thought for sure we would have to put her down. She couldn’t get up by herself and she was getting weaker by the day. We took her to the vet expecting the worst, but found out that she was diabetic, and very dehydrated. I cried for 3 days straight hoping that she would get better one more time and she is sure trying to oblige me. She spent the last 2 days on IV at the vets and is now on insulin. She seems better, but could use some good thoughts sent to her like Tinkerbell got in Peter Pan.

Carol, or Grandmu to my girls, is settling in nicely in her new home in the Villages. We brought a truck load of her antiques, sewing stuff, and whatever else we thought might make her feel at home and it seems to be helping. She gets a bit confused and has some bad Tapes playing over and over in her head, but she seems to feel better when she talks about what is bothering her. She does not quite remember falling and breaking her arms, and wonders why they hurt sometimes. She had a similar fall many years ago, when the dog brought a skunk into the yard, and she thinks that is what happened recently. She also misses grandpa and forgets that he is coming down next week.

The bright side is that every day she amazes us. It has only been 6 weeks since her fall and she is doing just about everything for herself that she did before the accident. She has better card skills than most of us, and beats her opponents soundly at Euchre nightly, even if she forgets mid-game and starts playing a similar game (bid/pitch). She still remembers more about sewing than most of us will ever know. She is helping us make our Halloween costumes, and is going to Molly’s party with us Tomorrow night. She asked me if anyone there will know her, because if not she could just go as herself and no one would recognize her. Her sense of humor is sharp as a tack!

She is ready to go anywhere, anytime. She went out to lunch with us at Katie Bells this afternoon, and to Oktoberfest in the Square this evening. She was pretty tired when she got home but so was everyone else. I hope I can come close to keeping up that pace long into my eighties.

Elaine is here for three weeks, to help her settle in and Briana is her constant companion. It is a full time job for the four of us, but I can see her getting less anxious everyday. I am glad to be able to help her with her best chance for many more years of fun in the sun!

Welcome Mu!

My mother in law is arriving today. At 87 years old, 5 week her recovery from a fall breaking both of her arms just below the shoulder has been nothing short of miraculous! She is such a trooper. The day after the accident she was taking only Tylenol for the pain and not complaining one bit. She continues to amaze us all.

The topic of this blog is going to change a bit. I am hoping to chronicle the joys and pains of helping an aging parent, with many challenges. We are beginning a life phase that many others of our generation find themselves in. We are taking this new situation on filled with optimism, but tempered with realism. We know that some days will be better than others for Mom. She is facing big changes, some good some not so good. We hope this course we are on will allow her to have many more years of good life here in the sunshine.

I welcome anyone else who is or has been in this situation to share your stories and advice with us.

Hijacked

Sometimes I feel so in control of my life, and other times it is like I am being swooped away in a downstream current. I am swooping right now. I stole away and was happily retired in happy land, when my life caught up with me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to change or to meeting my obligations, but… wow! It just goes to show; just when you think east is the best direction, north comes calling. I am OK with the direction that we are headed in, but it sure is not the planned route.

Mom’s recovery is going well. She has an unbelievably strong will, and is determined to get better. For 87 years old, she continues to amaze us all. I am not kidding myself, Briana is going to have her hands full, but she seems ready to take on the responsibility of Mu’s recuperation and care for a while.

They call us the sandwich generation, because just as we think we are done raising our family, the previous generation needs our help. This economy further complicates things as many of our kids are returning to the nest. I just heard on the news tonight that the 19-25 year unemployment rate is over 17 percent.

I hope for the best, and will deal with the rest!

The Golden years…right?

Well our worst fears for Wayne’s mom came true last week. A few days before their 62nd wedding anniversary she fell and broke both arms below the shoulder, bumped her head and skinned her knees. The good news/bad news thing about reaching the octogenarian decade is: Good news, you made it! Bad news is inevitably crappy stuff begins to happen. We start forgetting things, we can’t physically do some of things we used to enjoy, we spend too much time at the Doctor’s office, and our reflexes and balance are not what they used to be.

Dad is going to be 90 this year and he has been doing his best to take care of mom up to this point. Her rehabilitation from this accident, however, will defiantly be beyond his ability. So….. thanks to the generosity of Elaine and her husband and the fortunate timing of my youngest, Bri, being down here and available to help with her care, we are moving them to TV.

Our hope is that her recovery will go smoother without the harsh winter weather to contend with. She and dad will also have the benefit of most of their family nearby for company and support. We are hoping that they can relax and enjoy lots more good years here in the bubble. I know the transition will be difficult for her to understand, and for him to get used to, but we hope we are making a decision that will turn a bad situation, at least for now, into a not so bad one.

Happy Labor day!

"There is no greater calling than to serve your fellow men. There is no greater contribution than to help the weak. There is no greater satisfaction than to have done it well."
Walter Reuther

Happy Labor Day everyone! God bless the UAW!

My chick has returned to roost….at least for now!

My youngest, Briana, has returned to the nest to go back to school. She has decided that the health care business is where the future is. I look around TV and can’t fault her logic. We are a population going Grey. We spend more time at the Doctors, than anywhere else lately.

I look around the neighborhood and notice that she is not the only chick back in the coop. RC’s granddaughter is also attending community college for Nursing, three houses to the right another friend has his son camped out on his side porch, and the house four houses to the left also has a kid on a laptop doing homework on the lanai. All of these new Villagers are over 19 of course (refer to our covnent), but the face of this community is changing a bit. This difficult economy has had an unexpected side effect. Families are again extending.

My great-great grandmother had a large house next to the rail road tracks in Tonawanda, NY. It had two apartments upstairs and everyone in the family lived there at one time or another. During the great depression, all of the kids lived there because it was easier to keep them fed and warm under one roof. Grandma cared for all of them while their parents worked at what ever was available while trying to stay out of the poor house. First and second cousins, three and four generations, all under one roof. The stories they all told about living at Grandma Holler’s always made me yearn again for that kind of extended family. They never talked about the hardships, but of the love and fun they shared. They remembered ice skating on Ives pond, and climbing the apple trees. They remembered the hobo’s from the tracks out back, that Grandma would give soup in exchange for work on the fence. Life was measured by how you lived and laughed, not by what you did or had.

My parents generation also found comfort at Grandma’s (now owned by the next generation my great Aunt Margaret). Job losses, illness, death and divorce were some of the reasons we passed through those loving doors. Aunt Margaret welcomed any of us that needed a home, or just an apron covered lap to cry on. We still skated on Ives pond and loved to cross that field to have some of the piping hot chocolate that was always waiting. She’d sit us down and cut our bangs (I have pictures to prove the results of this torture). Colleen, Connie, Susan, Cindy? Sometimes she couldn’t get our names right the first time, but we knew who was getting “hollered at”. She and her sister Rose sold real estate. They dragged us around to the “appointments”, pointing out this house that they could have bought for a song, or that place that went cheep because his wife was running around.

Aunt Margaret died in that house quite a few years ago, and it was sold. I was sad at first that no one in our generation had an interest in the old place, but we were wrapped up in our own lives, and the next thing I knew it was gone.

I have tried to carry on the “open door” tradition in the way our generation has adapted. The first house I bought was a four family that still provides a home for the people I care about. My daughter Erika and nice Stephanie live in the apartments downstairs and I think my nephew Brian is moving in soon. My sister, sister in law, brother in law and a whole flock of friends have lived on “Niagara St.” Later, we made sure our family home had an in-law apartment and when my mother’s health began to fail she moved in and lived there until she died. That apartment became the spring board to independence for my kids, and extended our family to many others during the 20 years we lived there. Our home was the gathering place for all of the neighborhood kids, and where all of the best parties were held.

When we made the difficult decision to sell Tonawanda Creek (the “Ponderosa”) and move to TV, quite a few voices cried foul. They must have felt what I felt when Grandma’s house was sold. The lesson here, however, is that home is wherever the Welcome Mat is. It is not about the bricks and mortar around you but the welcoming arms that bring you into the safe place. I am glad to welcome Briana back to the “safe place”, until she’s ready to fly again.

I know that the circle will eventually come back around. My kids, hopefully have learned to keep their hearts and homes open to those in need, and won’t put me prematurely into a bad smelling nursing home.

Gods Speed Teddy!

May the road rise up to meet you, May the wind be ever at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face And the rain fall softly on your fields And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Raise a glass to the Lion of the Senate. May his soul rest in Peace. He will be missed.

One word for summer in Florida: HOT!

I understand the concept of Siesta. Northerners don’t nap. They work right through the afternoon and don’t think twice about it. They (we) harshly judge those with their hats pulled over their eyes and their chair rocked back against the wall in the middle of the work day. I now understand that this kind of unrelenting heat sucks the life out of you unless you pace yourself.

I have been thinking about how I used to work in the plant when the temperature rose to the high 80’s outside, inside near the ovens it was often over 100 degrees. We were supposed to be sent home if the temperature got over 110, but if you were caught with a thermometer on site, you got walked out. Our plant had no air conditioning, but those days of sweltering heat could usually, be counted on one hand, most summers. This summer in Florida has been HOT, day after day. I am not complaining. I still have the luxury of air conditioning and siesta if I choose.

The devilish uncertainty of a career in the auto industry has reared its ugly head again this week. Just when we thought that the worst was behind us, the rug gets pulled out again. General Motors has just emerged from bankruptcy, only to announce that they will not keep their promise to take the retirees back from ailing Delphi. We worked for GM for over 28 of the 30 years of our careers, but still may not receive a pension from GM.

This atmosphere of eminent doom is not new to us. When we were hired, we endured threats that we would not make our 90 days (often GM would lay workers off on their 89th day to avoid paying holiday pay). We then struggled through the years of the oil embargo. I spent my 5th and most of my 6th year on lay off. The spin off of the component divisions to the new Delphi Corporation was unsettling. It was especially hard to watch as the mother corporation squeezed all of the profits out of her orphaned plants, while developing off shore strategies, and duel sources (planned obsolescence). Four years ago our struggling corporation was forced by its parent company into bankruptcy and we all were sent off to an early retirement, with the promise that if we went, GM would take care of the pension obligation.

Last week my benefits were slashed and my pension was taken over by the government. Whoopee! Here we go again.

Walter Cronkite

"We endanger the democracy by our failure to understand and carry out our responsibility."

Walter Cronkite

You will be missed!

Economic Realities for the Next Generation

The July 4th week is always a busy one here in TV. Guests, picnics, parades etc. All of the kids flew in. A storm of changes are in the wind for all of them. This economy has brought upheaval to so many peoples lives, and the burden seems especially heavy on the generation that is entering the workforce today. Erika is safely home and rested after her trip, and my youngest is getting ready for a complete change of lifestyle. The cousins (Steph and Brian) also came in to visit and it looks like change is in the cards for them too.

Erika has recently completed her teaching degree. She is going to work on a City council race in NYC for the election season. She cannot find a teaching job here in Florida, (or anywhere else) as there is a moratorium on hiring right now. She sees this as a good thing, for now, as it allows her to follow some long time dreams. She has always wanted to live in NYC and about to do it, and she has been interested in the Peace Corps and is looking into that option. She has a good friend that has taken a job in southern California, and she may get a chance to spend some time with her on the West coast. When you get lemons, make lemonade.

My youngest, Briana has been living in Ohio and driving the big rigs. She has made the difficult decision to leave the job and go back to school. Although the money was good the job was very hard and involved long hours and her health was already beginning to suffer. She was also away from family and friends and that has become too much for her to tolerate. She has a year of college completed in criminal justice but has decided to try the health care profession for a change. She will be moving back in with us and that will be an adjustment for all of us. I look forward to having her here with me but am also aware of the challenges moving an adult child back into her parent’s home will bring.

My Niece, Stephanie is a victim of the auto industry collapse. She worked at the same plant that we are retired from. This plant supported Lockport, a small town in western NY, and employed over 11,000 people when we started in 1976. It is now down to around 1500 employees and her job is gone. She would like to move down here to Florida because she feels like Lockport is dying. Steph has noticed that crime is up and it seems like something new is being boarded up everyday. She has qualified for retraining under the stimulus plan and is going to welding school next month. I worry about where this generation will be if manufacturing does not rebound.

Her brother, Brian, recently landed an entry level job at a bank and has given up his dream of going to St Bonaventure to study Forensic Science. Fortunately, the bank offers an opportunity to go to business school. That is not what he intended to do but in this economy sometimes you have to do the practical thing, and sadly let a dream go for now.

If there was historically an upside to war it was the economic prosperity that followed. In the past, a war time economy was fueled by steel and weapons production, but now those industries are all off shore. We should all be worried about the larger implications of this dependency on tentative relationships with foreign producers (like China). If these relationships sour, where will we turn? Remember Rosie the Riveter? Where will she work?

Back Over the Atlantic

One of my favorite parts of traveling is reflection of the trip. The plane trip home was grueling, but it allows time for reflection. European life is very different in many ways. The sights were awesome, and the history mind blowing. The depths of the roots that define the culture make me feel like a newborn transient. I was amazed by the churches that were built before the birth of Christ. The casual manner that the guides commented on buildings and parks that were designed thousands of years ago challenged my perspective of time and space. You see, in my world nothing is more than a few decades old, even our most historic places go back only a couple of hundred years.

The best way to appreciate what you have is to leave it for a bit. As much as I enjoy travel it only serves to prove how conveniently we live here in TV. My whole life is set up for me. Selfish as that sounds it is nice to return to a lifestyle that is extremely easy. We Americans love conveniences. The simple things that I enjoy taking for granted were difficult to come by over seas. Cold water or iced drinks of any kind were simply unavailable. Affordable shopping for everything in one store is a concept that is absent. Public bathrooms were not available or you had to pay to use a unisex hole in the floor on a very busy street corner. I found myself descending narrow winding staircases in restaurants, into centuries old stone basements to find tiny storage rooms that doubled for WC’s (water closets).

If you can imagine, no golf carts! Everyone walked. Parking would have been impossible so we relied on trains, buses, and taxis. Public transportation was confusing and expensive.

I enjoyed the leisurely way people lingered in cafés for hours. It is a luxury that we Americans seldom allow ourselves. A cup of espresso or a glass of wine could buy you a choice viewing spot for literally hours of conversation and people watching. Drinking, smoking and judging passersby’s was Erika’s take on the past time. I read somewhere the average time for a meal in France is 1 hour and 20 minutes: that same meal in the US averaged 11 minutes.

Erika will continue the journey on her own. She is a big history aficionado (geek), and will go on to visit Switzerland, Germany, Amsterdam and England. I envy her courage to travel to such unfamiliar places alone, but will breathe a sigh of relief when she touches down at Orlando International. She reminds me often that she is a “big girl”, but I still find it hard to let the birdies fly on their own.

Paris

Last leg of the trip. We have been finishing the Paris attractions; Erika pouted all through France the last time we were here because she didn’t see the Mona Lisa. We should not judge her too harshly as she was only 12 years old. We visited the Louve this trip and she no longer has reason to pout. We sat in Cafes and drank Champagne and judged the people on the street. This seems to be a sport second only to Football (Soccer).

We traveled to Versailles today and it was too much walking for me. We are packing and on our way back to the bubble. It has been a great trip; my only regret is that I didn’t get to see Claudia and her family. I relentlessly tried right up until today with no success. It is much harder to get around here than I thought it would be.

Canes, France

We are back in France for the last stop at Canes. The famous film festival has just ended. The French Rivera is beautiful and much cleaner than the stops in Italy. Monte Carlo was also this stop but the ship left Port at 3PM, and we got a late start (cause we’re late night people now).

We stopped for lunch at a street side café’ called the melting pot. I thought I’d try a French dish called pasta and sausage. It turned out to plain spaghetti (no sauce), and two hot dogs. I got thinking about the starving guys back home. We sort of, had the same thing as you yesterday, ravioli, ours with goat cheese and a nice cream sauce and yours out of a can and prepared by Chef Boyardee. I’ll be home soon.

This is our last night on the Ship. We are going to Paris for three nights and then back home.

Livorno

This is the stop for Florence and Pisa. Erika took a bus to Pisa and Elaine went into Livorno to shop. This small costal city had good bargain shopping and Gelato to die for.

Free style cruising is true if by that you mean that nothing is free. We are feeling “Nickel and dimed” by the NCL line, every time you turn around there is an up charge. This is turning an affordable vacation into a costly one.

I had a talk with myself to not let that ruin our good time so today we are doing our best to get some of it back, by doing everything offered onboard. We talked the cruise director into buying our dinner at the Specialty Restaurant of our choice (we were sworn to secrecy on this so don’t tell), ate four times, smuggled a bottle of Vodka into the Ship, saw two shows, one by an international star (loved by millions), played the Quest game, and brought a spa robe back to the room. So there!

Rome

I stayed at the Spa all day, and had the place to myself. Erika and Elaine went into Rome “on their own”. The cruise ship excursions are expensive but they allow you to cut through long lines to see the sights. They covered a lot of ground but it only served to wet Erika’s interest in going back for a better look. They teamed up with a nice couple from Pennsylvania, and only got ripped off by one cabbie.

The entertainment on the ship has been first class. The magician tonight was Vegas caliber, and the Second City Touring Company was a hoot. We have seen a variety of great dancers and musicians to suit any taste. From string quartets to marimba phone players, one was better than the next.

Napoli

Naploi

We visited Naples today. The city is densely populated and chaotic. It sits at the base of Mt Vesuvius, and the views of the Seacoast are breathtaking. The tour bus company was unorganized and frustrating, and the first bus route that we took sat mostly in uptown traffic and smelled of smog. The second loop, however, took us on a trip with views I will always remember.

We are having a great time onboard. I gambled a bit and made a deal with Erika that she could have the $100 dollar bill or let me take it into the casino and she could keep whatever I won. She chose the casino, and came away with a cool $180. We are all pretty amazed at the late nights we are keeping. We found an acoustic guitar player doing a Beatles night at the Star Bar and stayed out until nearly midnight. Wow! Erika has so far resisted our suggestions that she attend the single functions on the ship, and she seems totally unaware of how the beautiful Italian men are enamored by her.

The weather is perfect, and the Internet still is terrible. Over half done with our trip, see you all soon! On to Rome.

It's my birthday and I'll cruise if I want to

I woke to the rocky shores of Malta as the view from my balcony. The only thing that I know about this beautiful, ancient Italian island is that I think food network star Mario is from here. I feel so ignorant and isolated as an American, it is almost embarrassing that everyone around the world knows so much about us, and we know so little about other countries or cultures.

We have had some trouble communicating while at sea. It seems odd not to have any contact (phones and internet have been impossible) and time seems irrelevant. We can’t figure out what time zone we are in and the displays on our phones all have different times. Oh well, I guess we don’t need to know exactly what time it is.

The styles here are very European (go figure). The women all wear scarves, tied perfectly (we all bought one and will probably never wear them again), and the men all wear man-capris, and Speedos (just for you Beth & Molly).

Cruisin'

This post is a surprise from Erika. Mom wrote this, but I've been complaining and reluctant to help with matters of the Internet, as it is slow, it is expensive, and i am a selfish kid...anyway mom wrote this, it rocks and you should comment on it! Happy birthday tomorrow Mama!

We are on the NCL Gem heading to Malta. I am not great with Geography, so I was very surprised to see that we would be closer to Africa, than to Italy on our way to Malta. The ship is a giant grazing station, with continuous food stations to please any palate. We had breakfast delivered to our cabin, just in case we were too weak (from several hours without nourishment) to make it to the breakfast buffet.

Vacations for the Lenhart’s always included at least one health emergency, usually suffered by poor Briana. Bri fell off a bike in Disney, got food poisoning in Yellowstone, Sea sick in Key West, a sty in her eye in Paris. Erika has taken over her job on this trip. She has been bitten by invisible bugs on her legs, and has welts that we are referring to as Ebola-like. She doesn’t think this is very funny.

We have a balcony in our cabin and can watch the sea go by. It makes the tiny cabin “suite” seem bigger and brighter. I have decided not to buy the expensive shore excursions, but am splurging on the spa package on the ship. For a price we are allowed unlimited access to this cool spa on the bow of the ship. It has saunas, hot tubs, heated stone lounges etc. all geared to pamper. E &E are going horseback riding in Malta tomorrow.

Hey from Spain, I think it's rude that we gave Espana a nick name (Spain). What if they called us Estados Unidos. Oh never mind, they do. But seriously if the name of the country is Espana, why not call it Espana?*

Barcelona is a beautiful port city. The architecture is varied and diverse, making it very apparent that the city has been occupied by many cultures throughout history. These European cities have evidence of thousands of years of history, and are in sharp contrast to our US cities that are only a couple of centuries old.

Elaine finally caught up with us here. She missed the whole first leg of the trip as Continental flight from Rochester was delayed and she could not make the connection to Paris. We took one of those touristy double Decker bus tours and are now about to get the drink-o-the day at the hotel bar.

Cruising the Med tomorrow. If I can't get the pictures up here check out Erika's facebook.

*This gem of profound insight evolved from a conversation that I had with Erika, all rights are reserved.

Gay Paris'

We are in Paris today. The city of lights is magnificant! After the marathon flight, I have no idea what time or day it is. We took the the subway to dinner at Saint Michelle, and Notre Dame. Erika has me a bit worried about leaving her alone here in Europe, as she is very friendly, polite and niave. Several stangers approached her and tried to get her to accompany them to (reference the movie Taken) their place, and she politely responded "No thank you, you are making my mother nervous. Yikes!

Pictures are available on Erika's site, as I have not yet mastered the art of posting photo's. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2043747&id=47001341

Off We Go!

It’s finally here! We leave for our European adventure tomorrow. I am cautiously venturing out of the TV bubble. I have mixed emotions. I am going to try to do a travel diary, maybe even learn how to “tweet”. A marathon flight gets us to Paris by way of Chicago, Newark, then across the ocean. We have a whirl wind trip planned complete with a Cruise of the Western Mediterranean, I think I should have added a few more days as I may not get to see my dear daughter/friend Claudia, and that will make me beyond sad.

I have been packing, and re-packing trying to guess what the weather will be. The internet says 60’s and it is rainy season. That is the most difficult temperature range to plan for (not too cold but not hot either). I guess I have become too accustomed to my TV daily sunshine. I was watching the rain this afternoon and thinking how rarely we have to endure a whole day of rain like this. The tropical summers usually bring a mid afternoon down pour preceded and followed by blue skies and sunshine. I know we need the rain badly but, I so love to be spoiled by Florida weather.

I will miss you all, friends and neighbors, make sure the boys don’t starve!

Mickey says Happy Birthday RC!

If you ever want to feel special, spend your birthday at Disney World. I have always loved the place, but this week RC and I spent our “Day-O-fun” at Disney to celebrate his milestone (now eligible for social security) birthday and they know how to treat a birthday boy! You not only get in for free on your special day, but they give you a button notifying everyone of the day of your birth.

From there it only gets better. Every single employee that you encounter all day greets you with a warm smile and a big “happy birthday”. RC has been known to get a bit grumpy on his birthday, but even a party pooper like him couldn’t help but get into the spirit when the Oompa band at the German Restaurant in Epcot sang Happy Birthday, complete with Alpine horn and accordion, to him at lunch.

Happy Birthday RC! Now you can finally let the younger generation support your lazy retiree's butt!

Shamefull Health Care USA

I hate dwelling on health problems. It’s a shame that as we grow older this topic has to occupy so much of our time. I long for the days that I got up in the morning pain free and went through my day without a single thought of health related issues crossing my mind. That is no longer the case and I am gravely disappointed at the state of care in this country.

Flash back to 1963, Elmwood Park, Tonawanda NY. The neighborhood that I grew up in was nice middle class and both my Doctor and Dentist lived across the street. Dr Britt was a GP, and he and his family lived in a modest 2 story home in our quiet neighborhood, not in a gated Mc Mansion. I had a high fever and at 2AM my mother got concerned enough to call Dr Britt to get some advice. He came over in his PJ’s and gave me a shot of antibiotics and the fever broke in a few hours. This was not special care for the privileged; it was compassionate responsible application of his Hippocratic Oath.

Flash to 1987, Lockport NY, my youngest daughter, 18 months old at the time, was up crying and clutching her right arm to her chest in obvious pain. Thinking she may have broken her clavicle, or dislocated her arm at day care, I called her Dr’s service at 8PM. He returned my call much later and informed me that I should give her a Tylenol and bring her to his office in the morning as my insurance (supposed to be the best around) frowned on the use of the emergency room. He wanted me to put a baby to bed with a possible broken bone because the insurance company didn’t always pay for emergency treatments (not smart to rile the mama bear). I told him that I had plenty of money to go along with my insurance and not to ever make my families medical decisions based on an insurance company policy. Furthermore if he did not wish to meet me at the emergency room, our new pediatrician would. He met me there, put her dislocated elbow back into place and I found a new Doctor the following week. Doctors were by then being paid bonuses by the insurance companies for minimizing care and testing of their patients and insurance guys were now directing medical decisions.

Fast forward to 2009, American Doctors are now the millionaires in our society, well paid with the best educations in the world. Technology has advanced at such warp speed medical care concerns must be all but erased, right? Not so fast! I find myself in a system that ranks 37^th in the industrialized world supported by inadequate expensive insurance plans, staffed by ambivalent Doctors, that treat patients (especially Women over 50) as invisible and expendable. Today one in 8 deaths in our country are a result of medical mistakes. The number one ranked country, France, has a national policy that doctors salaries are capped at $50,000 a year so everyone can afford medical care. Millions of families, mostly the working poor, are uninsured and are unable to get any care at all.

http://www.photius.com/rankings/healthranks.html

I have recently developed a painful and potentially dangerous condition and called my new Florida doctor, only to be told that it would be 3 weeks until he could see me. I went to urgent care and $150 and two hours later I left with an antibiotic (just like in 1963). When that only temporarily helped my condition, I again called my physicians office. I was told that I could see another doctor in the practice (again 3weeks to see my doctor: why wasn’t I offered this option before?). I agreed to come in the next day. I arrived 15 minutes early and waited an hour. As I sat in the exam room I heard the doctor in the hall, pitching a temper tantrum because he had patients scheduled during his lunch time. He blew into the exam room and rushed me through a terse conversation, dismissed my request for a specialist referral and rudely scolded me as I was supposed to be only “quick rash appointment”. I paid full price for the half assed appointment and started looking for a new doctor that afternoon. Medical professional or not this man is my employee and he is fired.

Our system is broken, and I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t want to live in a country where people die because they cannot afford medical care. I don’t want to live in a country where only the rich can afford preventive medical care. I don’t want to live in a country that ranks behind Costa Rica and Dominica for any reason! Maybe we could sample the 36 countries that rank above us in the world and take their best practices and learn from their mistakes. Mr. President, we are waiting, because you promised……

Easter Break

Easter is the craziest time around TV. Everyone has visitors, and the snow birds are getting in their last hurrahs. The place is a mob scene, and then they are gone. With no warning this place becomes almost serene. As much as I will enjoy the respite, I will miss the excitement the visitors bring.

We had a crowd for Easter Dinner. We set up a feast for 20 outside on RC’s patio and ate and drank until the community watch truck started cruising back and forth down the street. The guys got a bit boisterous playing darts in the dark, and Wayne accused me of stifling him, when I asked him to take it down a few decibels. I guess I thought 11pm was a bit late for that kind of noise level (I can be so strict).

The Thompson clan was in for a visit and they left quite an impression. I am going to try my first attempt at posting photos on my blog with a sure to be classic of Michelle doing the Macarena and Kevin and Molly singing Karaoke at the Tiki Bar. I am not going to mention who, but several of the clan was a bit under the weather for the ride home. They think its easy living our lifestyle. Most stunts are performed by professionals (us), so don’t try this at home.

European Vacation

I am pleased to announce that it appears my oldest daughter Erika is going to graduate from Niagara University in a few weeks. I say that it “appears” that way because things don’t always go as planned for Erika. Sometimes another idea catches her fancy and she takes a little detour. Regardless, I am, as always, so proud of the person that she has become!

I guess the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree in that regard, as it took me 10 years and three changes of majors to complete my Bachelors degree back in the day. My parents feared that I would become a professional student, but continued to lovingly support my follies. I was going to be a teacher, then Law School beckoned, then Psychology caught my attention……sorry Mom & Dad. I finally went back to the teaching thing with duel major in Psychology (and a bunch of pre-law credits). I then took a detour and went to work in the auto industry and the UAW for 30 years. Life takes such unpredictable turns. Maybe I’ll still do that Law thing when I grow up.

As a graduation present to herself Erika is going to Europe for 2 months this summer. I saw the movie Taken (two girls kidnapped on holiday in Europe) a few weeks ago and it scared the bee-gee-bers out of me. I have now decided that she needs her mother with her for the beginning of the trip. So I talked my ever ready travel companion, Elaine into going too. From there it expanded (as usual) into a potential Chevy Chase like European adventure, stretching from one week into two with a cruise of the Mediterranean thrown in for good measure. Europe here we come! We are soooo excited!

Flat Stanley

We have decided to make it more palatable to continue doing my “job” we would make Monday, my day off, our day-o-fun, and do a different cool field trip every week. RC’s grand daughter has asked him to help with a school project called Flat Stanley. He is this little laminated guy that is assigned to get his picture taken in as many interesting places as possible. We thought that it would be a good idea for Flat Stanley to along go with us on our weekly adventures.

So far, we have been to the Beach in Daytona, a great Restaurant called the Salt Water Cowboy in St Augustine and to a Yankee’s game in Tampa. We are off to see the Manatees in Homosassa tomorrow.

Some proposed destinations on our list for future trips include the Sterling gambling boat, Siesta Key, the Webster flea market, an air boat ride, the Space Center, and Downtown Disney. We are looking for suggestions on other interesting fun day trips, so if you have been somewhere fun please share your finds with me.

Wayne has been busy with his little hobby business, repairing snaps on cart covers and replacing zippers. He doesn’t know what he is missing. I hope to coax him into taking a day off and joining RC, Stanley and I in the future.

Dear Barack:

I wrote the President an email today. I have heard that he has his staff pick a few constituent emails for him to read each day to keep him grounded. I doubt that mine will hit his desk but you never can tell. I waited 50 days to give him a chance to settle in.

I asked him not to allow my government to kick us little guys when we are down by taxing and penalizing us for our diminishing retirement savings. I asked him to renew legislative support for our unions and to protect social security. I also asked him to never abandon the next generation’s future, no matter how dire today seems.

I didn’t mention health care, although it is very important to me, as I think everyone else is in his ear about that subject. Unlike the last administration, I feel like someone in the Oval office may be listening to the pulse of this country.

I think my friend Cathy’s comment sums up the feelings of a great many Americans. She told me that despite the fact that she does not follow politics very closely, she feels like the President is doing exactly what he promised he would do. He promised the stimulus package by Presidents Day, and that actually happened. That meant a great deal to her and has restored some faith in the word of a politician for the first time in quite a while. God speed Mr. President.

Bike Week

Whew! What a week it has been! RC’s granddaughter Cassie no sooner flew home when his friend Al and Al’s brother Dave arrived. Our old friends Jim and Joe came in on their Motorcycles and stayed for a few days, his place looked like Boy’s Town. Elaine had (friend) Kathy in for a week and Kathy’s parents stopped over for lunch and to tour TV. Mardi Gras was fun for all, although not as exciting as the real New Orleans thing that Erika got to experience this year. We had a hot dog roast after Sunday golf, and now the gang is off to Daytona for Bike week.

They are all staying at Elaine and Kevin’s condo in Daytona and will be back sometime Sunday. Kevin got this really cool Harley with a side car and he is the only one actually taking a bike to bike week. RC is threatening to buy a Harley next year. I worry that those razor sharp reflexes of his won’t be adequate to safely maneuver a Bike here in Florida. You have to drive like you are invisible because to many drivers, you are.

The house is very quiet. I got to see a movie that no one wanted to go with me to see (Milk, I highly recommend it), and I finished a book that I started quite a while ago. I stayed home to tend to the job (still hate it), deliver a cart and pick up E & K’s dog from the dogie hotel.

I am languishing in my solitude, but already know that I will be bored soon. Well it will be short lived as everyone will be home tomorrow and Briana is flying in Wednesday to update her CDL endorsements. Joyfully chaos again will rule my life. That is how we roll!

Car in the drink!

RC’s grand daughter came for a visit this week. She is a senior in high school. She cooked a turkey dinner with all of the trimmings for everyone. I thought that this was quite an accomplishment for someone so young to get all of the courses to the table at the same time. She has grown into a poised young lady. RC is very proud of her and he thoroughly enjoyed her company. We hope she comes back to visit again soon.

Tuesday I spent a good portion of my afternoon with Beth, her Mom and about 50 more voyeurs, watching divers recover a car from Silver Lake. The area was cordoned off with yellow police tape and cameras flashed all around the lake. If I am to believe the onlookers, the car had been in the lake for some time. It was a hoot to listen to all of the know-it–all onlookers pontificate about the story of the submerged car.

One onlooker proclaimed her disgust at the lack of urgency of the local police forces to ignore this submerged death trap for weeks. Another thought they knew the owner who “lost” his car after a night of partying a month ago. The alleged owner’s only concern was the $500 golf club that he left in the back seat. Someone else warned the divers of a 12 foot gator that has been know to frequent the lake. Beth thought it might emerge with bony hands clutching the steering wheel.

It seems pretty easy to entertain us here in TV. Some watched in their golf carts, others brought lawn chairs. Our buddy Tom’s house, only a few feet away from the scene of the crime, would have been the perfect place to fire up a grill and sell hot dogs to the crowd.

Travel Lust

I am starting to get the travel lust again. I have always loved to travel, but for the past few seasons I have not had the urge to wander too far from TV. My sister in-law, Elaine and I used to travel together quite a bit, but lately I have been less enthusiastic when she has suggested a side trip and I did not know why exactly.

I suspected that I was living in a resort, so I had no need to go to a resort. What would I do at the all inclusive or on the cruise? Sit by the pool? Participate in pool side games? Eat and drink what I liked? Escape from work, and domestic chores? This sounds suspiciously like what currently goes on in my life daily.

I used to pride myself on my spontaneity. If someone asked me to run off to(fill in the blank), my overnight bag was packed and I was ready in a flash. Now the only thing that has changed is my back pack contains a bag full of heart meds and comfortable shoes.

In my teens I hitchhiked across country with three friends and just a backpack. In my twenties, my ski bum buddies and I would chase the ski season around until we found good powder, and drop everything to join my lawyer friends on comped gambling junkets from the Caribbean to Vegas.

Thirties brought a husband and kids, and we still loved to travel. My kids saw the world before they hit their teens. When Erika was little she went to Disney so often that when she saw a plane overhead, she would exclaim “They are going to see Mickey Mouse!” We weren’t rich, but I decided that due to my choice to be a working mother, only on vacations did the kids get my undivided attention and we, as a family, would put travel on our list of non-negotiatable essentials.

Wayne would want me to tell you about my “free” trip to England that cost him $10K. I won a radio station Beatles contest including round trip airfare for two to London and four nights at the Hilton. ...the but comes when I decided as long as we were over there, I needed to (A)Bring the kids, (B)Book side trips to Switzerland, Luxemburg, France… (you get the picture?) We had a great time and the kids got a history lesson that will stay with them for life. I think that trip may have been a contributor to Erika’s interest in teaching history.

I had the good fortune to have some travel at work. My specialty in rapid prototyping provided opportunities to attend training and conferences across the country and my position as Quality Network Rep and trainer for the UAW also brought me to interesting (and not so interesting like Detroit in January) destinations. Anyone who travels for work will tell you that some travel is great, but too much becomes tedious. I was fortunate to have a nice balance of travel and home time and I will always be grateful to the UAW for the many adventures that I experienced on their dime.

My girls have the travel bug too. Erika is planning a trip across Europe by rail this summer. She will be using Claudia’s (our wonderful exchange student) place in Lake Lucerne, Switzerland as a home base. She is giving this 2 month trip to herself as a graduation present. I am sure it will be a trip of a lifetime. Briana has the bug too. Part of the appeal of becoming big rig driver was the travel. She has already logged lots of miles from coast to coast, and had some fun in the process.

I have been drifting off, recently, to memories of several of my favorite places. New England and Northern Michigan have been contributing to my daydreams a lot. Not the cold weather New England and Black Lake Michigan, (both I remember fondly) but the lazy days on the beaches of the cape, and in the Pines of Michigan. Visions of the rocky shores of Maine and the covered bridges in Vermont on motorcycles bring me to a place both familiar and comfortable. Certain places and times of the year evoke vivid memories for me and that is one of the wonders that travel has brought to me through the years. In my mind I can almost smell the salty, fishy ocean and sweet pungent green pines.

The memories still stir the travel lust in my soul, so I begin one of my favorite parts of travel; the making of plans for my next journey. I think our motor home beckons me out this year. So much more to see, smell, taste, experience. I'll keep you all posted.

Feng Shui

I am taking a Feng Shui course at the Lifelong Learning College. The class is taught by Dr. Ina Anderson, a bright, interesting person that I met at a discussion group at All About Art, a little boutique in Bellview. She has a wonderful broad based knowledge of the subject and a common sense Westernized approached to this ancient Chinese art. I am learning a great deal and am committed to organizing my messy life to help better channel my chi (energy).

One afternoon at the square last year RC and I were leisurely enjoying the busy season bustle and warm sun, when this guy taps RC on the shoulder. He says “Don’t you just love this place?” A total stranger couldn’t contain his enthusiasm any longer and just had to share his feelings about where we live. How many communities can boast that kind of resident reaction? We are truly blessed to be retired to TV.

I know there are problems and inequities in TV. I am generally glad that people like the POA are functioning in a watchdog role, but I can’t imagine why someone would choose to occupy the larger part of their lives to focus on the negative aspects of this place that we have chosen to live. Me, I am currently content to revel in the 90 percent good stuff that is going on in my life.

We joked when we first came to visit TV 5 years ago, that they put funny stuff in the water supply to make everyone so happy. The truth is that I have observed the community watch trucks spraying something late at night. Mosquito spray they claim, Prozac I suspect. Don’t you just love it here?

Crash

I have been reminded of why I don’t go anywhere this time of the year by car. Yesterday I drove my daughter and her boyfriend to the airport. We had a wonderful long weekend together, although it passed too quickly. The guys like to golf on Sundays (and every other day), so I drove them to Orlando by myself.

I decided to stop into the new Sam’s Club on the way home. What a mistake! Parking was impossible and it was a zoo inside. The checkout line snaked around to the back of the store and the aisles were so full, it was impossible to take advantage of my favorite part of the Sam’s Club experience, food samples. Frustrated, I abandoned my shopping cart and decided to come back another day when the novelty had worn off. I did get my favorite Sam’s lunch of a Nathan’s hot dog and large drink for $1.82.

On my way out I decided to head into Leesburg to pick up a couple of things at Dockside. I was heading towards 441/27 in the left turn lane when this nut made a U turn from the right lane, right in front of me and hit the front end of my car.

From there in only gets worse; this hot head comes over to my car and starts yelling, in my face, that I was going to fast. OMG, this old coot just about gave me a heart attack, and he wants to shift the blame on me. He didn’t want to show me his license and when I told him I needed to confirm that he actually had a license he indignantly informed me that he was not an American (he is a Britt), and that should assure me that he obeyed the law. What? What does that even mean? Americans have no regard for the law? I got back into my car, rolled up the window, and called the cops.

One full hour later, he got a ticket for improper lane change, and while still chirping at me over his shoulder, got back in his car and headed home. His big mouth cost him another $140 for improper lane change, did a couple of thousand dollars damage to my car, and ruined my mellow Sunday plans.

I hope my golf cart will take me wherever I need to go until May. My sympathies to his poor wife.

Briana

My youngest daughter, Briana and her boyfriend Anthony are in for a long weekend. I haven’t seen them in a while because she is always working. She is a big rig driver and is currently hauling groceries for Kroeger’s in Ohio. She is a hard worker with a strong determined will. I am so proud her. It is really good to see them both. I wish they lived closer.

We joined 19 friends and family for the fish fry at Orange Blossom Country Club. The food was great and a good value (AYCE fish for $10.95) and our server, Rachel was extraordinary! She was efficient and patient with us (gabbing while we should have been deciding what we wanted to eat), and the order came out in a flash, with barely a glitch.

We are taking them to Silver Springs today to see 38 Special. If you live here in TV and have not gotten your season pass to Silver Springs you are missing out on the bargain of all bargains. This nature park is old Florida at its best. It is Florida before Disney. It is where classics like Tarzan, Sea Hunt and I Spy were filmed. The beauty of the Springs and River by way of glass bottom boat rides alone are worth the $69. yearly pass price but when you add the free concerts (last year included Willie Nelson, Kenny Rogers, The Beach Boys to name a few) and the Christmas festival of lights it is too good to pass up. This jewel is only 25 miles north of us, very handicap friendly and I recommend the experience to everyone young and young at heart.

Cruel Role Reversal

My in-laws are down for a month. Dad is going to be 90 this year and mom, well we say her memory is going, but the truth is she has Alzheimer’s. It is a cruel disease. She was a feisty, spitfire never at a loss for words. Opinionated and our fun, ever ready travel companion, it is difficult to see her withdraw in social situations for fear she will say or do the wrong thing.

They both served during WWII and that is the constant topic of conversation. It is sad to see that generation defined by a terrible war, and sadder to see the war she now fights inside her mind. She is at the stage that is perhaps the most difficult. She has many lucid periods, during which she is aware that she has forgotten things. She gets confused and embarrassed and sometimes angry at the tricks her mind is playing on her.

Dad is from the generation that men were not accustomed to being caregivers. The men went to work and were off the clock and in the easy chair when they came through the door. He always looked disdainfully at his son’s active participation in the care and feeding of our children and his domestic partnership with me. Now, he is forced to cook and clean and care for mom, and is doing his best though he is not happy about his unexpected role.

Dad told me that they have been retired for 23 years this year. They owned a TV and Appliance business in Lockport, NY. Since they retired they have done very little other than hang on to a house that is too big on 60 acre farm that he cannot manage in a climate that is cruel and harsh on old bones. They didn’t like to travel much because they had to leave the house (fear of break-ins or water damage), and they couldn’t afford to do the things they would have liked to because the farm cost them a fortune in taxes and upkeep. From my vantage point it seems like a lot of good years squandered.

I am thankful that my husband didn’t inherit all of his father’s German stubbornness. I am thankful that we had the courage to leave the big house and snow covered community where we worked and raised our family, behind. I am thankful for our health, and our ability to retire young. I feel fortunate to be able to complain about cold temperatures of 60 degrees (and no snow shovel required). I am happy we found this community in which to write the next chapter of our lives.

There is a lesson in here and I think it is my old friend “Carpe Diem”. Yes, seize the day! The future outlook holds no good news for Dad and Mom. His mother lived to be over 100, and it looks like they may both give her a run for the record. My mother used to say "These are the “Golden Years”, bull ----." I prefer to say make hay while the sun shines in The Villages!

Shucks, they got me again!

I have not had time to blog this week as I have been taken hostage. My gang here talked me into taking a part time job. I don’t mean to whine (or do I), but I didn’t mean for this to happen. I have been perfectly happy in my new role as lady of leisure. While many of my friends have missed the structure and social aspects of a job, I did not. Sure we have made some adjustments financially since we have retired, but all in all, the things that I have cut back on, I seem to be living fine without.

It is only 3 hours a day and the pay is good but I liked to go to water aerobics at that time of day. My husband convinced me that our daughters last semester at NU and my kitchen remodel would be easier to finance if I’d take this little courier job for a bit, but I feel duped. I think that was the same line I was fed when I started at GM 30 some years ago. Did I fall for that trick again? Well it’s only for a bit, right?